Act of Forgiveness
by angrymermaids
Summary: The hunt for the Avatar must go on after the storm. But first, Zuko and Jee must salvage their relationship. Oneshot, established relationship, smut.


A/N: This fic has been in the making for a really long time. When I first immersed myself in the Avatar fandom almost three years ago, I couldn't bring myself to even read porn, let alone write it. So this is a pretty big milestone. Unsurprisingly, my first porn is as fluffy and vanilla as an angel-food cupcake.

Story takes place between "The Storm" and "The Blue Spirit" if you assume there's an extra day there. I was going to include seriousness and psychology, but I decided to save that for a future Boiler Room chapter and just keep this thing strictly about the sex.

Blame the other Princebenders for corrupting me. And, uh, I usually ask for brutal feedback, but for this... be gentle, it's my first time.

Thank you to Dracze for looking it over for me!

* * *

It felt like a whole dynasty had run its course by the time Jee returned to his cabin and found Zuko waiting for him on the bed.

"Sir," he said. His eyebrows shot up like they were trying to escape his face.

Zuko grinned and stretched his arms over his head, glancing down at his body just briefly. Yep. He looked good. He still had bruises on his knees and arms from yesterday's debacle, but Jee wasn't noticing that. Zuko knew exactly what he was noticing, and it felt good to be able to hold his attention again.

It always felt good. If not for Jee, he might have permanently convinced himself that he was too ugly to be loved.

"I'm tired of waiting," Zuko said. He shifted his hips so that the bulge in his loincloth was more visible. "Take off your clothes. I want to see you naked."

He had a sneaking suspicion that his method of seduction would not be very successful on a lady back at the palace, but with Jee, it seemed fine. Jee hesitated for just a brief moment, but then, with a smile tucked into the corner of his mouth, began to disrobe.

It was always a treat to watch him shed the dark leather and metal armor, especially when he did it like this, for Zuko's benefit. His hands were quick and confident, removing plates and untying straps like he could do it in pitch-darkness. Actually, he _could_ do it in pitch-darkness, and more besides. Zuko had experienced plenty of it.

"You seem like you've been waiting in here a while, sir," Jee remarked as he let his belt drop onto the floor next to his feet, on top of the small pile of armor plates he'd already discarded. Zuko could feel the man's eyes on his body like roving fingers.

"Not too long. I took a shower and then decided to wait for you here."

Jee tugged at the ties on his shirt. Zuko couldn't help but smile at the sight of the gray fabric slipping down from Jee's shoulders and joining the rest on the floor.

Jee was older, sure, and a little rough around the edges, but Zuko liked to look at him as much as he so obviously enjoyed looking at Zuko. He had a broad chest and shoulders, lean and hard with muscle but soft enough to curl up with at night. His skin was criss-crossed with old pale scars and sometimes Zuko would just lie with his head under Jee's chin, tracing the scars with a fingertip and asking Jee where they came from. He always told him.

Spirits, Zuko wanted him so badly.

"It's good to see you again, sir." Jee tugged his pants down, much too slowly for Zuko's liking. It was like he was doing it on purpose, going slow and teasing just because he knew Zuko had been in agony all day, waiting for his touch, a chance to get reacquainted after their little… misunderstanding.

Zuko had decided to block most of it from his mind. Jee shouting at him, toughing out the storm, shouting back at Jee once they were alone and the lieutenant had explained everything that had passed in the hold… how raw he had felt, how vulnerable. Like everything was broken and there was no way to fix it. He wanted it to go back to the way it was, when he visited Jee at night and he didn't feel pressured to talk about himself more than he wanted to. They had an understanding. And it was all upended in the storm, just like everything else broken and shaken out of place by the wind and waves.

It must have been sheer exhaustion that drove him into Jee's arms in the end, because he didn't recall doing it on purpose. He fell asleep with his cheek against Jee's chest while his lieutenant rubbed his back in slow, reassuring circles. Jee's arms were still around him in the morning, and the twisted black ugliness that surfaced the night before seemed to have unraveled a little.

At the very least, he was forgiven.

Lieutenant Jee always forgave him. Even if everything else was a lie, he knew that to be true.

"It's good to… start over, I guess," Zuko replied finally. Jee's smile was warm and as genuine as Zuko had ever seen it.

At long last, Jee dropped the pants as well as his loincloth on top of the pile of clothes and stood there for a moment, clearly for his lover's enjoyment. Zuko wanted to jump up and grab him.

No, it would be better to draw this out. They had all night, and as frustrated as Zuko had often been these past weeks, they might not have the same luxury tomorrow.

Jee approached the bed, moving slowly despite the obvious lust brightening his eyes and coloring his cheeks. Or maybe it was only Zuko's imagination, maybe he just wanted to touch and be touched so badly that Jee couldn't have moved fast enough if he tried.

That was probably it.

He finally closed the distance. Warmth suffused Zuko's body when Jee reached out to caress his cheek, and the rasp of the roughened fingertips made him close his eyes and sigh in pleasure. The fingers drifted down to the tender spot on the side of his neck that he always liked to have kissed. Zuko reached up, wrapped his arms around Jee's neck, pulled him close in an embrace that didn't even begin to express how it felt to have his lieutenant back.

Jee's breath was hot against his mouth. The bed shifted and then his legs were entwined with Zuko's, his warm weight pressing down on his body. He propped himself up on his elbows and cradled Zuko's face in both hands, stroking his cheeks with his thumbs for a moment while he looked into his eyes.

Zuko felt a little breathless already. Jee looked like he had just tasted something very fine and was trying to savor it for as long as possible.

Enough.

Zuko pulled him in and kissed him. He could feel blood rushing in his ears, energy rushing through his body, all sensation sparking into a flame that centered around the kiss.

Jee tasted so good, warm and intoxicating and real. He reciprocated all Zuko's energy and urgency to make up for the lost time of the past few weeks and the weeks before their split, when things had been deteriorating so rapidly that a kiss usually caused more pain than pleasure.

Zuko knew he was impatient. He knew he burned through days and nights in frustration that things weren't progressing fast enough, and he knew that he could be intolerable to the people closest to him. But he couldn't help it. It was the only way there was for him to be, or life would spiral so far out of his control that he would never be able to find his way again.

But now. Now he was content to just kiss and taste and feel Jee's fire and the hands that were holding his face so gently. Instead of burning through time, he was content to let this moment smolder forever.

Jee broke the kiss abruptly, jerking his right hand away from Zuko's face, and for a brief, insane moment Zuko wondered if maybe he wasn't quite _this_ forgiven yet and that Jee was going to sit up and ask him to leave.

"Sorry," he whispered instead. "Didn't realize I was touching."

Touching the scar, he meant. Zuko hadn't noticed it either. He never told Jee not to touch him there; the man just seemed to sense some hint of discomfort about it that Zuko hadn't managed to squash down. He probably would have gotten upset before.

He might have gotten upset now, except that he was almost painfully hard against Jee's stomach and he wasn't going to fuck it all up this time, not when they were finally in each other's arms again after so long. He could do things right when he tried, he really could.

"It's all right. I don't mind." Zuko kissed him again to cut off any further discussion.

Jee's hand returned carefully, fingers tracing the jawline but no higher. Then the side of his neck, his collarbone, his shoulder, and back up again, sending chills over Zuko's body.

When this first began, Zuko had actually been surprised at how gentle Jee could be. Even at his most fearful he never thought that Jee would be a cruel partner, but the lieutenant was hardened and unsentimental, with an almost-permanent glare and a voice that could be heard over storm winds. That apparent callousness was probably what Zuko first found attractive about him. No messy emotions to get in the way of anything.

Then again… he'd been wrong about that, too. Jee towered over him, but Zuko's face fit perfectly into his neck that way. Jee's arms looked like he could bend a steel bar, but he gave firm, reassuring hugs, especially when Zuko woke from a nightmare. When they pressed their hands together, Zuko's fingers barely came up past the first joint of Jee's.

One of those hands was still cupping his cheek and the other was rubbing slow circles on his chest. The room had been cool earlier, but it was now starting to feel almost tropical. Jee's lips burned; it tasted like his fire was leaping higher and higher as he kissed.

He tasted rich with lust. The way his body moved and responded to Zuko's touch made the prince even more impatient, if that was even possible; he'd somehow managed to make it through the day without grabbing Jee and hauling him off to the nearest dark corner. He thought he had reached the end of his patience a long time ago. Not so, apparently.

But he still felt like he might explode if he didn't get some very soon.

He didn't need to say anything. Jee knew, and Zuko knew that he knew. The touches were more urgent now, their fingers almost burning hot as they dug into exposed flesh and probed for sensitive spots.

"Let's see if we still remember how to do this," Zuko murmured, eliciting a deep chuckle from Jee's throat.

"What do you want to do?"

"Whatever you want." Zuko couldn't bring himself to say what he really meant: _all I want is to be with you._ It sounded tawdry even in his head.

He didn't know what had gotten into him, that he was even _thinking_ shit like that.

He was happy to be alive, that was all. There were any number of ways he could have been killed yesterday, and the world wouldn't have missed him.

But he wasn't thinking about that now. He couldn't dwell on it like he usually did, wondering whether it would hurt to die or whether he would even know what hit him. This time it just made him weary to wonder. Jee was touching him. He smelled really good and tasted even better. That was all that mattered.

Roughened hands moved up Zuko's body and the prince shivered under his touch. He let out a little gasp whenever Jee lingered on a spot he knew was sensitive: the hollows of his hips, his navel, his nipples, his throat, which he eagerly threw back his head to expose. Jee always knew how to touch him just _so_, as if it was his own body he was exploring. Zuko traced Jee's sides ever so delicately with his fingertips. The man gave a coarse sigh and his hard bulge pressed down into Zuko's open hips.

Mmmm.

Zuko liked it rough. He liked to be whipped and tied up and fucked hard and fast and left gasping. He liked waking up to find fresh bruises on his thighs and bite marks on his neck. He liked the sting, the burn, the rush of begging to be pleased.

But sometimes, he liked this. Touching, tasting. Gentleness. Slow kisses, as if they had not just this night but all the time in the world to themselves. Just being close. They didn't even need to talk. It was all right.

Jee knew him now, at least as much as he would allow anyone to know him. It was still a little frightening to think about, that he could no longer hide behind the walls he'd been building brick by brick for the last three years, that they'd been torn down and how the bricks had been scattered for good. He felt naked even when he was clothed.

It was more than all right.

As much as he liked feeling Jee pressing him into the bed, it was getting a little hard to breathe. Besides, it was hard to give Jee's body the undivided attention he wanted to give to it when he was pinned down like this.

Zuko shifted his legs and braced his feet flat on the mattress, gripping Jee's shoulders in both hands. The man understood what he wanted without either of them saying anything. He held onto Zuko's sides, not stopping his caresses even as they rolled. Once Jee was on his back with Zuko straddling him and nibbling his neck, his hands moved right down to Zuko's ass, searching for the end of the twisted length of cotton that was Zuko's loincloth.

Finally he found the end and started to unwind it. "This can't be comfortable, sir." When he dropped the cloth onto the floor next to the bed, Zuko sighed in relief.

Zuko bucked his hips against Jee's own hard cock almost without trying. "Not really."

"You could have been naked already, you know." The subtle rumble in Jee's voice sounded amused, almost joking.

"Or I could have you take it off for me," Zuko said with a grin. "I like that better."

"Of course you do."

Jee gripped Zuko's thighs, rocking him slowly against his own hips while Zuko took his time kissing. He tasted so good. It had been too long since he'd been able to spend a few hours nibbling, sucking, exploring every little bit of neck and shoulders, and Zuko might have been happy just to kiss until the sun came up if the primal, almost painful need building up elsewhere didn't demand attention.

"Lie back for a second," Zuko murmured, sitting up between Jee's legs.

For a split second, Jee looked like Zuko had just decided to leave and walk out of the room. "Come back," he said, sounding a little surprised and almost desperate.

Zuko grinned as he leaned just out of the lieutenant's reach.

"Not yet."

"You're killing me, sir." The man's voice had taken on that breathy undertone he always got when Zuko started doing things to him. Zuko's grin widened as he began rubbing Jee's cock, touching lightly enough to just tease and nothing more.

He dove right in, throwing all hesitation to the waves. Jee immediately flexed, stretched, arched beneath Zuko's mouth, making sounds that let Zuko know that _yes_ he was doing a good job, a very good job indeed. It had been too long since Zuko had been able to do this to him, too. To be able to shatter what was left of that prickly exterior with just his tongue and wet lips and the barest hint of teeth, and then to melt into sheer joy that he was capable of causing someone else such pleasure.

Jee's fingers knocked against the top of his head once, and then curled themselves into Zuko's hair, holding on tight. The little hurt felt just right, a perfect counterpart to the strain in his own cock. He could wait.

He looked up from his task and caught Jee's half-closed eyes. _You taught me this._

Their rhythm was effortless. Zuko knew he'd been terrible at this when he first worked up the nerve to try, but if there was one thing he had been determined to do perfectly, it was sucking Jee off. Practice certainly made perfect in this instance. And Jee couldn't complain about that.

Zuko wanted to draw this out. He gave one last hard suck and then lifted his head to see Jee looking twice as breathless and desperate as before. His hands were curled in the sheets and his face was flushed even deeper than it had already been.

"Sir, you… you little tease," he breathed. His eyes were wide and Zuko wanted to giggle.

_You know it_.

He felt warm all over as he just sat there, appreciating the soft lines and hard curves of Jee's body and rubbing his thighs with hands that knew how to express how he felt better than he could with words.

Jee was breathing heavily. He caught Zuko's eyes: his gaze was soft, a little unfocused, but bright and still filled with desire. Zuko liked his eyes. Dark brown, warm or freezing cold or burning hot depending on his mood. They were almost hypnotic, especially now.

"Sir." His voice was huskier than usual. He took a moment to catch his breath, and then pushed himself up a little so that he was half-sitting with the pillow behind his back. "Come sit in my lap." He held out a hand. Zuko took it without hesitation. He melted into Jee's body when the lieutenant pulled him in for another kiss.

It almost frightened him how content he was in Jee's arms. He hadn't felt like this in a long time. Maybe it was false, maybe when this ended for real he would have another scar to hide and another reason to distrust people. Maybe he had been foolish all along, taking up with someone who wasn't entirely respectable… but then, Zuko himself wasn't respectable.

And he couldn't lie to himself. He couldn't pretend like this feeling, the one he got whenever Jee kissed him or held him close, was something false.

Jee reached up and cupped Zuko's cheek. His fire tasted like Zuko felt: hungry for contact that had been denied for a few agonizing, never-ending weeks. Not even a kiss in all that time, and now he never wanted to let go of his lieutenant again. They had a lot to make up for. The kiss was syrup in Zuko's throat, and Jee's hands on his body were rays of summer sun.

"I taught you well," Jee murmured with a hint of amusement when they came up for air.

"Yeah, you did." Zuko grinned. It felt unfamiliar and weird to keep smiling like this, but maybe he could get used to it. But only when he was around Jee.

He went in for another kiss. Jee tasted so good it ached, and the warm flesh beneath his hands and body was his to explore with curious fingertips. Jee's own fingers gently glided down his spine, coaxed little shivers out of the hard muscles of his back, massaged his buttocks.

He was ready and willing to turn his body over to Jee. There was always a block preventing him from becoming truly intimate with the man, no matter where they touched or how deep they fucked. He was ready this time. Ready to trust.

Zuko almost felt like whimpering, he was burning and aching so much to be satisfied, but he managed to keep it contained while Jee took his time.

And Jee said that _he_ was a tease.

Soft kisses moved over Zuko's face, lips, nose, cheeks, everywhere. Zuko could never get enough of this. Gentle kissing, almost like tasting something rare and delicate, the way his lips and tongue treated Zuko's skin. The prince was this close to breaking down and either begging for release or simply having his way with Jee, kissing be damned, but there was that part of him, the part he still didn't quite know how to acknowledge, that would be satisfied with the intimacy of this forever.

But then a pair of warm hands settled on his hips and moved him against Jee's body, a good rhythm, good sensation. There was pressure on his cock, sweat-dampened skin under his hands, and fingers kneading his ass. He was so warm and all feeling seemed to be multiplied by ten.

He let out a shaky sigh. This was good. He let his eyes drift shut and just focused on pure feeling.

He opened his mouth to take in Jee's fire and tongue and lips. It was like drink. And just like drink, it went straight to his head.

Jee reached up with one hand to rub the two-days' stubble on Zuko's head. "That's good, sir." His voice was a little shaky too. Zuko was panting against his mouth now. All of his breath seemed to have deserted him, lost in favor of focusing entirely on grinding his erection into Jee's hips. "Good. Keep going."

"I…" Zuko swallowed, and then realized he had no idea what he was about to say.

"It's all right. I know." Jee kissed him, pulling him in with the strong hand on the back of his head. "I know."

In a brief moment of lucidity, Zuko didn't think that Jee knew what he was talking about either. But that didn't matter.

It would be over soon. Zuko could feel his muscles groaning, trying to hold out just a little longer, or maybe that was actually Jee, whose fingers would leave bruises they were grasping so hard. They breathed together, moved together, kissed and touched and drowned together in the wave of feeling that they could not escape now, not even if for some stupid reason they wanted to.

It was Jee who came first, and Zuko couldn't last much longer after watching his face, listening to his rough gasps, feeling his hands grip so tightly that it hurt, but in a good way.

Almost before he realized it, he was coming, engulfed in a rushing tide of pure pleasure. He grabbed for Jee, he arched his back, he probably cried out but he couldn't be certain.

Zuko collapsed on top of Jee when it was all over, gasping, digging his fingers into Jee's skin. He couldn't think past the rush of the fire in his blood and the struggle to breathe normally—it was like his body had completely forgotten how it was supposed to work, but that was fine, that was completely fine, it felt like so long since the last time that he never wanted to let go, not ever.

Jee knew him now. He couldn't help him much, but he knew him. And it felt… better. He didn't feel like he was hiding anymore, always watching his back to make sure he hadn't let slip a hint of what he had to keep to himself. But he didn't _have_ to keep it to himself, not now.

Zuko closed his eyes and buried his face in Jee's neck. The warm, roughened hands slid up from his hips, massaging his back, soothing out the last knots of tension from everything that had come before.

"I missed you, sir," Jee whispered.

Instead of words, Zuko could only manage a heavy, contented sigh in response. Jee's neck smelled good. Zuko's body was still tingling and his fire still sparking from the force of his orgasm. And he was so tired, ready to drift off in Jee's strong arms.

He really was forgiven.

They lay quietly for a few moments. Then Jee shifted, reaching underneath the bed. Zuko rolled off and settled next to him instead when he came up with a bottle of clear liquor. It was already half-empty. Jee uncorked it and passed it to Zuko first.

He took a sip. It burned a little on the way down but warmed him up just fine, replacing the chill that was starting to creep over his body. He passed it back and curled closer against Jee's side.

The lieutenant traced his jaw with a light touch, stroked his neck, and then his hand came finally to rest on his upper arm. It almost seemed… protective. Jee had never touched him like that before, like his touch was a shield of sorts.

Well, he did last night, a little. Mostly he'd just held onto Zuko to keep him from falling apart as he tried—and largely failed—to keep himself together. Jee wasn't a guardian then, just a person to keep him on his feet when he could have burned every last bridge that was somehow still intact.

Maybe he had been like this all along.

Zuko was sleepy and Jee's face was suddenly altogether too serious. The prince frowned.

"Sir," Jee began. Zuko felt like putting a pillow over his head and curling up with the rest of him for a very comfortable and dearly-needed night's sleep.

But this looked important.

"Hmm?" was all he could manage.

"For what I said to you… before." Jee pulled Zuko closer. "Can you ever forgive me?"

Oh. That hadn't occurred to him, that yesterday plagued Jee as much as it plagued Zuko. Zuko had been the real ass yesterday, short-sighted and stupid in the face of his goal. Jee had just been… reacting. As anyone would have. Zuko had been truly angry with him for only a few minutes…

He frowned and wriggled as closely as he could to his lover. Talk now, sleep in a second.

"I already have," he mumbled.

The lingering hint of tension in Jee's body melted away. He kissed Zuko's forehead and then said something, but whatever it was, it was lost. Zuko was already asleep, breathing peacefully and not letting go even while he slept.


End file.
